40
I don’t know how it got here so fast. I feel behind in life for many reasons, not the least of which is my late start to being employed. But many people feel behind. And there’s no reason to. It’s not a rule that everyone do the same things by a certain age. Everyone’s different. Overall I’m happy where I ended up, even if I have a few regrets.
The past decade has brought with it the increasingly accelerating passage of time. After transitioning to remote work in 2018, the days, weeks, and months blended together and flew by. The beginning of the pandemic feels like a couple of years ago, not five. I need to break up the monotony and slow things down.
I’ve made some things I’m proud of over the years, but it feels like I should have done more. Feels like I should have had my big idea by now; some side-project-turned-flagship-product. But all I have is a new tab page and a long-winded tutorial about HTML. The speed at which the tech industry moves makes it seem like you could build a billion dollar company, sell out, and move on to your next idea—all in the span of a few months. My aims aren’t that high. All I want is my little lemonade stand on the internet. That’s the dream.
That said, I’m happy at my job. Glad I have one. Glad that I get to build cool things and have a direct impact on the products we ship.
I feel older. Not necessarily any wiser. A bit tired. But still with a sense of wonder. You know what, I’ll take it.