Microblog

BREAKING: Eggs considered harmful says latest executive order

A White House spokesperson credited the Trump administration with the high price of eggs as a strategy to protect Americans.

"No one likes eggs, eggs are lame. People are saying it. I'm not saying it, but people are saying it. Eggs are bad. They're very bad,” the president added.

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BREAKING: Alaska and Hawaii must relocate to the contiguous United States after executive order outlines broad return to office policy

A spokesperson admitted the plan was ambitious, but cited plate tectonics as precedent for moving chunks of earth around.

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BREAKING: The Great Lakes to be renamed the Greatest Lakes to comply with new executive order

“We love the lakes; they’re the greatest lakes. People are saying it; they’re all saying it, and by the way it’s so true. [sharp inhale]” the president said.

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I love Safari as much as the next person, which is to say not much. 😝

I’m being facetious, but I have two complaints:

1) It’s the oddball when it comes to developing extensions for it because it requires a corresponding app. Pretty annoying.

2) It deletes a site’s data storage after 7 days without visiting. I get why I think (anti-ad/privacy) but there’s a privacy hit—otherwise private local web apps will lose data unless they provide a mechanism for storing it remotely.

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Actually, there is a point. Don’t forget that there was a time you were a beginner. When people earnestly ask for your help, remember the people who helped you and pay it forward.

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When I was working at Mad Genius, a local ad agency, I was a decent “interactive designer” but something I struggled with was asynchronous JavaScript. I just didn't understand it at all.

One of the senior devs helped me one day, stood at my desk for like 15 minutes and explained jQuery’s deferred objects to me in a way that finally made it click (of course that translated to Promises easily enough).

There’s not a point to this story. I just feel appreciative.

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BREAKING: Executive orders have momentarily ceased as White House "ran out of that fancy paper"

A spokesperson said an intern failed to fill up on supplies after being tasked to retrieve “nice-but-cheap” card stock from Office Depot.

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BREAKING: Executive order renames Mexico "the basement." With Canada fearing they’re next, a government spokesperson revealed back-channel meetings have taken place to "get out in front of this thing." "We're more than a dusty attic and we’re looking for a naming compromise that isn’t harmful to Canadians."

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